To my Form Six lecturers and everyone who knew them, keep in mind that what I am going to write after this paragraph is very frank, comes straight from the bottom of my heart and at this time of the day (it's 3.30pm now), I don't really give a shiitake mushroom about hurting anyone's feelings so
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
I'm going to start with my favourite teacherrrrr~ <3
CIKGU FAUZIAH who taught us Geography!
She looks like the female version of Alan Cumming. Big beautiful eyes. And the same eyebrows :P She's got the most beautiful eyebrows. The Frida Kahlo (google her) type. *-*
In my entire school life (if I remembered correctly), Cikgu Fauziah is probably the funniest female teacher I had EVER had! There was NEVER a dull moment (I shiitake you not!) whenever she entered our classroom.
Cigu Fauziah: Ok, kamu tau itu pepatah "Diam-diam ubi berisi" kan? Nah, semua kamu mesti jadi macam ubi. Minda kamu mesti "berisi". Bukan ubi yang sudah kena makan bakas.
Translation: Ok, so you all know the phrase "Quiet-quiet the stuffed potato" right? Therefore, all of you must be like a potato. Your mind needs to be "stuffed". Not like a potato that has been eaten by a warthog/pig.
PS: I suck at translation. It sounds so ridiculous when translated to English >_> By the way, "Diam-diam ubi berisi" is a Malay phrase. I think the phrase is used to describe someone whose superior intellect and "smartness? xD" is not known to anyone and that person kept it well-hidden. Or well-kept it hidden. Or hidden it well-kept. *Sobs*
And this is when the GST (Government Service Tax) was all the rage and we were discussing about it:
Wanie: Cigu, durang bilang GST ada maksud yang lain lagi. Durang bilang GST tu maksud dia "Gali Sendiri Tanah". (We were also talking about real estate and cabbage-planting xD, I think.)
Cikgu Fauziah: Tanah apa? Gali tanah kuburmu sendiri?
Translation:
Wanie: Teacher, they say that the GST has another meaning. They said the GST also stands for "Dig Your Own Land".
Cikgu Fauziah: What kind of land? You mean dig your own grave?
*And we all laughed so hard*
She was also onced frustrated with me. She gave me a stack of worksheets to hand out to the rest of my classmates and when I placed the extra worksheets on her table, she said "Letak macam begini/ Put it like this" then she starts moving her hands in a circular-like motion but I didn't really get her so I kinda fumbled with the papers for a while, awkwardly turning the paper this way and that. Then she said "Tsk! Bukan...", then she took the papers from my hands semi-roughly and placed it horizontally on the table.
Horizontally. (Melintang). Maybe I'm just stupid at that time because it was so SIMPLE~
Okay. She could have just said, "Kasi letak itu kertas melintang/ Place the papers horizontally" and everything will end smoothly :'D
I am the easily offended, sensitive type of person. So even a minor frustration from my favorite teacher like that could send my mind off to a different dimension, contemplating the hundreds of possible reasons on why she hated my existence so much that she wanted me to UN- EXIST. Now that I think about it, it's not really that big of a deal at all (haha....)
Or maybe she just had a bad day and the whole teacher-work thing is stressing her out and I'm just taking all of it too personally. Which I only understand now T~T
Cikgu Fauziah, you have brought sunshine into my pale, cloudy, grey heart every time we had Geography. And I am sorry I never got a mark higher than a C- on my Geography tests.
CIKGU SUPRIN who taught us Economics!
Cikgu Suprin has a loud booming voice. During our first semester, my ears can barely withstand his excellent voice projection technique as you can still clearly hear it from the basketball court about 10++ metres away. That's why I sat at the back of the class in the second semester. He has semi-dark skin, pot belly (LOL) and a great sense of humor! He always used the "Langsat" fruit as part of an example whenever he taught us about economics, which is interesting. And we only understand a difficult theory/question when he included the langsat fruit as part of it. "Bayangkan kamu mau beli 10 kilo langsat/Ok, bank ini ada simpan 5 kilo langsat/ Ok, firma ini ada kilang membuat jus langsat/ harga langsat menaik, jadi permintaan langsat menurun" Those kinds of examples.
He is a very laid-back teacher. And he made our Economics assignments sound so damn easy and he gave us all an A+ on it too (Not that it helps my GPA that much). Here are his
3 GOLDEN TIPS FOR SUCCESS
1. Do business. Make money. Get rich. Don't work for the government. Make money. Make money.
2. Work at an oil rig for Petronas so you can get big money.
3. Be a singer on Akademi Fantasia so you can get money.
4. Be a Langsat Dealer.
So basically all he talks about is money. Which is not bad at all since we all enjoyed it because he mentions the langsat fruit at all times.
Oh yeah, when the rest of the class found the mysterious RM150 between the pages of the attendance file on the teacher's desk in the classroom, they all assumed it was secretly from him. When it was actually ME who put that envelope in there but nobody, NOBODY knew about it back then. Hehehehe...
The funniest part is when they confronted him and his face was
like this O____O
to this :I
and then this ,':)
and finally this :>
But that's alright. I just love to see the happy faces on my lovely classmates and my teacher's golden expressions. I hope you live a happy life, cikgu!
CIKGU AGNES who taught General Studies!
This sweet lady smiles 100% of the entire time. I am NOT joking. Even if she's correcting our worksheet she still has a slight upward curve on her lips. Even when she tried to think of a new idea she has this slight smirk which still passed off as a smile. And she always grins and smile. I remember we once failed on a test and she was kinda frustrated so she was all
"Ha? Kamu semua gagal? Cikgu <3 CEKIK <3 kamu lama-lama!" ^__^
Translation: "What? You all failed? Sooner or later I am going to <3 CHOKE~~! <3 all of you!" ^__^
She's the sweetest teacher I had EVER had. Like seriously, really sweet. Sometimes I just wished she could scold us for a little bit. She sometimes bring her 6 year old son to our afternoon classes and he's so shy with us. He onced tried to scribble on our wall but Cikgu Agnes calmly and gently prevent him from doing so. This one time he didn't want to sit still and kept making noises but my teacher just gently tried to shush him up. Maybe she's trying to set a good image in front of her students. Maybe at home, she whips her son and became the ultimate tiger mom >_> who knows.
I love Cikgu Agnes. I don't care HOW boring Pengajian Am syllabus can get; as long as I can listen to her talk about ANYTHING related to Pengajian Am, then I'm all ears.
There's a downside to her good-natured sweet motherly personality towards us. She didn't really push me or force me to do better at my Pengajian Am assignment. It was horrible T~T I know I don't need to be pushed or forced to do my responsibilities (I was freaking 19 at that time) but I really wished she would still force me to do a better job.
Cikgu Agnes, I aspire to be a teacher just like you. But I will rule the class with an iron fist in a velvet glove. I hope you have a happy life teaching!
CIKGU ASRIAH who taught us History!
Now this is the type of teacher who rules with an iron fist in an iron glove! (Like Cikgu Felicia (I hope I get her name right) our History teacher when Cikgu Asriah was on leave) She has the most beautiful skin ever. Very fair. She has a fairly ectomorphic body. She asked each and every one of us questions about the topic she was teaching. She forcefully asks for our opinions about the historical characters in the textbooks. She never leaves anyone out. She forced us to do a good job on our History assignment and I really did my best but I think I only got a B+ T~T Damn you, MPM...
She has this catch phrase whenever there's a test coming up or when she's giving advice etc:
"Kalau kamu tidak ingat fakta-fakta ni masa menjawab soalan nanti, kirim salam saja la"
"Kalau kamu tidak hantar itu proposal sebelum hari Jumaat tepat jam 12 tengah hari, kirim salam saja la"
"Kalau kamu gagal STPM tidak dapat masuk U, kirim salam saja la"
Salam diterima, Cikgu. T~T PS: Too lazy to translate)
We were all so afraid whenever she ask us a question on the History topics because it's so difficult to answer and we always had to find the facts in the textbook and present it in a professional way but I think we got the hang of it starting the second semester so that turned out fine.
Oh yeah, her face is VERY similar to the actress Lucy Punch from Bad Teacher.
She looks like this whenever we didn't live up to her expectations. Which is scary.
So you can imagine how pretty my History teacher is ^_^ If she dyed her hair red or blonde, she would definitely look like Lucy Punch.
Thank you for you tough love, Cikgu Asriah~
SIR DUANIS who taught us MUET! (Basically English)
He looks like this. Not the kid. The grandpa. But with darker hair, darker skin and more fit-looking. But somehow he walks just like the grandpa haha... Sir Duanis is (or was xD) an athlete, I think... So I assume he's physically healthy. He has a WIDE range of vocabulary and that's why I am impressed by him. But sometimes he mixed things up. For example, the topic that day was about Synonyms and he tried explaining the word "burrow". He taught us that "burrow" means digging/rabbit hole or whatever xD and that there's another meaning for the word "burrow" apart from "digging/rabit hole or whatever". Then he wrote "wheelburrow" on the whiteboard underneath the word "burrow". Maybe he did in on purpose to see if anyone is smart enough to correct it? I cannot remember anything else after that moment because I went blur and speechless.
Sir Duanis is very strict towards us students. Since I was a new student in that school and didn't know anything, the rest of my classmates were all so worried about our upcoming first MUET class and how unfortunate we are to have Sir Duanis as our MUET teacher.
To me, I think Sir Duanis as our english language teacher is the best thing that ever happened to us. Oh yeah, he also has a catch phrase.
"If you don't pass the test, I WILL KILL YUH"
"If you cannot answer this simple primary school english question, I WILL KILL YUH"
"If you don't come to school tomorrow, I WILL KILL YUH"
PS: YUH= You. Sir Duanis pronounced it as "ju:h" instead of just "ju:"(Ignore this if you don't know what phonetic symbols are)
I love it when Sir Duanis taught us MUET. And he's so funny especially when he walks. It's like marching mixed with stomping while stooping.
I hope, in the future, I will meet another english teacher who is as awesome as you, Sir Duanis.
So there you have it. All five of my Form Six teachers/lecturers/sensei/guru/shifu. I really wished I could just go back to our first day of class and experience the wonderful joys of being in each and every one of these teachers' class once more.
Sooner or later, they will find out about this blog and they will start sharpening their samurai swords, reloading their bakakuks (it's some kind of a shotgun hmm not sure), hiring assassins and hitmans, meet up with a shaman to curse me, hone up their choking skills and death glare--
I should stop here.